Facebook, I’m not sure I can handle you anymore….it’s not You, it’s Me!

It seems to be the trend amongst my closest friends, to suspend or permanently end their relationship with Facebook. According to them, not being connected brings immense inner peace and silence is golden.

Not a Popularity Contest

Until now, I’ve never really had a problem with Facebook, it hasn’t massively messed with my mental health. Perhaps, because I’ve tried to be fussy about whom I accept or request as a friend. I’ve never been one to immediately befriend someone I’ve just met and I certainly don’t accept others who do it to me. My aim has been to protect my private World and not feel the need to win any inadvertent, popularity contests. And because of the sophistication of the Internet, for the most part, I’ve been sent information I actually want to receive.

An Uncomfortable Shade of Green

However, something is out of kilter, I am becoming a little too vulnerable to all the ‘noise’ being plugged into the ‘grid’ elicits. I’m noticing I can become a bit ‘judgey’ and envious, when I’m in a down. Then, it feels like everyone else is living Luis Armstrong’s Wonderful Life, whilst I am barely scrapping through on my knees….well, the one that isn’t totally buggered…I still can’t kneel!

I don’t like feeling these emotions, they make me uncomfortable.  I don’t want them festering within me, but Facebook you are a fertiliser for them! Yes, through you I get to read and share fantastic articles on my special interests.

Unwelcome Snidey Thoughts

But you also flash me other people’s seemingly carefree and easily achieved happiness and that’s where, when I’m down, it goes all a bit ‘Pete tong’ (wrong for the non-Brits). In certain instances, it’s akin to the modern-day equivalent of the one-upmanship of living next door to an annoying, showy, superficial neighbour….And not keeping up with the Jones is painful! Nasty, bitter, unwelcome little thoughts…If you’re having such a good time, how have you found the time to capture it all on camera? Shouldn’t you be in front of the lens not behind it?

Death via Self Obsession

Selfie sticks, an abomination in their own right, do not count! I’m loosing count of the number of people who have had tragic accidental deaths, or in the worst case I read, accidentally killing their own child, for the sake of taking a selfie?!!! WTF is wrong with you people! The Darwin Awards have never had so many entries.

Nobody Forced Me

Of course, this isn’t your fault Facebook, you didn’t select or accept my Friends, I did. It’s not their faults either, why shouldn’t they proudly display their celebrations of life? It’s just less aggravating, if these voyeuristic snap shots are from people you know well and who share your values and views on life, aka good friends.

Rationale Illogic

On some level, how ridiculous that this is even a thing? On the face of it (see what I did there), it’s inconceivable that I/we should be so affected by small vistas into the lives of others.

But it is a thing, a big thing, that seems to be swallowing some people whole. I reckon the culprit behind this, is the lack of etiquette surrounding the be-friending element.

Social Pressure

Because social media is a new medium for communication, there are no established common rules. It’s all too immediate and in your face and it’s easy to feel bamboozled into pressing ‘yes’ without due consideration. It doesn’t feel socially acceptable or even justifiable to say ‘no’ on frequent occasions!

Lack of Social Boundaries

Pre-social media, you wouldn’t expect upon meeting someone new, to immediately commence open written correspondence.  You would save that intimacy for existing, developed or developing relationships; the spilling of your guts would be done safe in the knowledge that the reader had context. And even if they didn’t, it was kept private between you and them, not broadcast to the World.

Un-friendly Expectations

Yet there is an unwritten expectation that you should ‘friend’ your neighbours, parents from school, relatives etc…basically anyone and everyone. It doesn’t matter that you barely know them or even ‘like’ them, you are at risk of being offensive or social rejection if you do not accept the invitation. Okay, I jest a little there, that’s extreme, but some people really do struggle with saying ‘no’ or nothing at all….finding it easier to exit the whole process.

Hopeful Future

So Facebook I’ve decided am not quitting just yet, I’ve re-calibrated my ‘friends’ list to just contain people I really know and like.  I am hoping this dials down my uncomfortable negativity,  stops me challenging my self-worth and returns to me my usual pleasure from seeing the people I care about enjoy their lives.