Mental Wellbeing - Death’s impact on my self care and self awareness

Loving What Is

According to a load of my friends, we're all off to hell in Boris Johnson's handbag!

Personally, and because I'm a great believer of Byron Katie's 'loving what is' and have a degree in our ineffective political system, I am not drastically affronted just a tad depressed by the state of electoral affairs. 

Electoral reform

We need electoral reform before we can become a representative democracy, but we screwed that becoming possible in 2011! 

Still, I cheer that all this lunacy is forcing people to become more politically savvy, though we're clearly not there yet because Love Island and the British Bake Off are still getting higher billings! #marieantoinette

Winter solstice

We are being drawn towards Winter Solstice, moths to an inevitable purging flame, and it's gone beyond dark out there in the mornings.

I actually hate this lack of light, it makes me feel like I shouldn't have risen, I would be better off hibernating alone, safe. But, that's not my life, or yours, I am sure.

Winter's hermit

In dark winter, I don't wear summer's sunny smile, instead my face reflects my emotional temperature, that of the hermit.

This is without manipulative intent, I am far away in deep contemplation, but unfortunately elicits kind concern.

Thus, effort is required to smooth away any reflected discomfort before I quickly shuffle back to my solitude as fast as my little legs can carry me.

Always ill in winter

At this point in the cycle, I am at my least sociable, most introspective and usually, unfailingly unwell. This year there has been no change in the order of service, I have been enduring ill health for the last couple of weeks and boy does it sink me down even further. So, I find myself beachcombing the detritus of all the regrets I promised myself I'd never have; see, never say fucking never!

Personal introspection

This enforced navel gazing is meant in order to clear for the new year, there's no daylight so naturally we should be quiet and inside our souls.

So, if you find yourself similarly afflicted, know it is the work of your higher consciousness. I think next December, I become ever more aware with each passing season, I will just accept my impending illness and the timeout it gives me.

Perhaps, I may not even have to do the ill part! I'll live like crazy for spring, summer and autumn and then retire for winter....

Grieving lost youth

For me, what's come up this winter is a new craving for the security of my lost youth. (Crave is apparently an unhealthy, emotion, it represents unbalance.)

I've always been forward looking, rushing ever onwards away from the misery, control and discomfort towards a golden future.

Because, the bad times really stand out don't they, so much more than the good, which is quite fucked up if you think about it! #topsturvyworld And, why good customer service is so imperative to a business’s success.

Menopausal panic attacks

I'm getting deluged in fond memories of lost loved ones, in bitter sweet technicolour. And, in the midst of middle age and menopause, struggling to appreciate all my gold, I now keep having mini panic attacks when I recognise a lot of my living has been done. 

I don't want to be an elder

Never again will I bask in the protective company of these elders and this is making me really sad and claustrophobic. I suddenly want to be young again??? (I mean teenage witch) To go back, something I've never ever wanted?? But this is not Back to the Future, I don't know Doc and it's too late!

Missing the dearly departed

And I, as big an advocate for believing in life after death as you can get, a true disciple and gospel, find myself once more mired in grief loss.

Having these lost loved ones in the flesh was so much simpler, they were clearly defined, interaction a more visible exchange.

I miss the sharing of corporeal pleasures - mainly booze I'll admit, the sound of their voices, the warmth of their embrace, seeing the love in their eyes. I suddenly don't want to be an adult for the first time in my life, I don't want to be in control?

Integration in 2020

Perhaps, this is part of my overall integration, getting the sum together of all my parts. The haters, the lovers, the lost, the abandoned, the rebels, the angels, the children, the adults. We humans have layers upon layers, don't we? We're so onion! Each time I think that's it, I find another one......arrrgggg.

Apparently, 2020 is all about integration, the fusion of all the parts of yourself, generating a symphony of complete love and acceptance.

Holding that total love instead of resentment, aka fear, in place will naturally align you with your purpose and true place.

Sounds good doesn't it, let's see if it's achievable, meet you here to discuss again next year!

Mental wellbeing support for grief

To make your journey through this painful transformation I recommend the following natural remedies.

Essential oils for grief

Essential oils treat mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Simply put, they do this by altering your physical chemistry, which directly affects your mental health and body which in turn benefits your spirit. Each essential oil has lots of different chemical constituents and this makes them a complex plant medicine which covers off all bases.

Good essential oils for grief include Rose, Lavender, Rosemary, Peppermint, Ylang ylang and Basil. Remember, ultimately it is down to personal taste.

Herbal teas for grief

Herbal teas are a more gentle way to experience the healing properties of plants, they offer the medicinal and nutritional support of the whole plant. And we British love a cup of tea to help us through life, this is that cup with extra levels.

Herbal teas that can help soothe grief would be St John’s wort, Calendula, German chamomile, Mullein, Vervain and Rose.

Bespoke wellbeing for grief

To get the most success with these natural remedies, I recommend having a Bespoke consultation with me so I can read your wellbeing and tailor your remedy.